29 Weeks...

Where does the time go?!  I'm sure I'll be saying this for the next 18 years for the rest of my life, but it's really amazing how quickly it all flies by.  Now fully in our 3rd trimester, I just want to take this opportunity to quickly document a few things.

- I love feeling our little boy kick. and punch. and roll around, or whatever strange things they do in there.  It's funny how that weird "alien" stuff makes me smile.  And I love that Mass gets to be part of it now too.  Every night he gives our son a little rub down, and he always gets some fun karate chops in return.

- I feel a sense of worry (what's new), that I'll actually feel sad, or have a sense of loss once I'm not pregnant anymore.  It sounds ridiculous when I say it, and even more so when I write it for everyone to see, but it's true.  Obviously I'll be thrilled to meet our little bundle of joy, but I never thought I would really enjoy being pregnant as much as I have.  (I'm fully aware that this could also change in the coming weeks!)

- I feel like I should be listening to more classical music, eating more blueberries, and talking to our baby boy more often.  I realize this is a super random list, but I've been told that the classical music and blueberries help brain development.  I've made a conscious effort to do both, but not as much as I would like.  As for talking to him, I don't know why I haven't done this.  I want him to get used to the sound of my voice, but I honestly feel a little silly talking to my stomach.  Mass has done a much better job of this. :)

- I hope baby boy likes our new house, the stuff we're picking out for him, our parenting style, and being part of our family.  I hope he's healthy, and happy, and gets to spend lots of time with his wonderful grandparents, great grandparents, and his super cool aunt & uncle (and of course his awesome little dog, Mahoney). 

29 Weeks

SPOILER ALERT: It's a.....

...BOY!!  

Despite the fact that neither one of us had a preference for the gender of our baby, it's still wild and exciting (and a little mind-blowing) to actually know what it is.  I'm so glad I have this time to get to know our little guy, and to imagine what it might be like to have a son.  One thing I know for sure, this kid already has family that love him to pieces.  

We received a hilarious email from Peter (baby boy Backus's one and only true uncle), and I just have to share it:

"I am sure you guys have some names you already like but I have some suggestions (my feelings won't be hurt if you don't use any of these):

Tartlet

Robocop II

Russel Wilson

Lancelot

The Badger

Samuel L. Backus

Massasaurus

Hot Pants

Mabroney

Sandwich

These are obviously first names.

I am so happy for you guys. This is super exciting and I promise I will be a really good uncle. If you want I can have the following "big" talks with him:

1.  Why we don't take full diapers off by ourselves

2.  Walking: why it's awesome

3.  High fives and fist bumps: when, why and how to avoid

4.  You are 13 now, part I: why all your friends are having bar mitzvahs

5.  You are 13 now, part II: Time management for adolescent levels of masturbating or Why you really need to take a break sometimes

6.  Legos: 5 places on your body NOT to put them 

7.  Theories on your father's shoulder hair

8.  The only two rules you need at 18: Always use a condom and never drive drunk

9.  Be nice to your little brother or sister or both. Honestly, life is way more fun when you get along

10.  On why even though you think your parents are totally lame and embarrassing, they are actually pretty cool

11.  Being from a short family, part I: reaching stuff

12.  Being from a short family, part II: Dating taller girls

13.  Uncle Pete's 8 rules for a happy life

Each talk will obviously be accompanied by a powerpoint presentation and a reading list. "

I have to say, I feel so lucky to have such a great brother-in-law, and this little man is going to be so lucky to have him as an uncle.  Despite the many miles between us, I hope these two get lots of time together.  

A photo at 20 weeks (taken about a week ago), marking the halfway point

18 weeks...and a few days

Dear Little One,

I think I felt you kick for the first time yesterday.  Up until now I haven't been sure, feeling strange sensations that could be mistaken for gas or other things happening in my digestive system. But yesterday, for the first time, I was sure.

I was sitting out by the pool in beautiful Maui, soaking in some very welcome Vitamin D and reading a book.  It was so peaceful and I felt very content- the only sounds were the palm trees gently swaying in the breeze, and the background noise of Mass and our friends having breakfast in the kitchen. 

I felt a teeny tiny little jab- like a punch or kick generated from the smallest little limb, toward the front of my belly, what seemed like a couple inches below my belly button.  It startled me, then I instantly felt it again, confirming that I wasn't imagining things.  This time, unlike the others, it didn't feel like gas or something moving through my GI tract. I'm pretty sure it was you; our mango-sized bundle of joy, saying hello, putting a smile on my face, making me feel more blessed than ever.

I've been waiting for this moment- another sign that things are going well, progressing as they should be.  A bit of reassurance to calm the occasional worry that creeps up from time to time.  I haven't felt the same thing again since, only the questionable swimmy "is-there-a-goldfish-in-there" feeling, but I'm looking forward to those stronger and more frequent calisthenics from you, our new favorite person that we haven't yet met.  I'm excited for the day that your dad gets to feel your movements too, and we can experience more of this bizarre yet awesome miracle of nature together, as your two biggest fans.


We love you oodles already,
Your overly emotional....Mom.

Should I be doing more?

Where does the time go?  Now that I'm 16 weeks pregnant, I'm finally starting to get the feeling that from this point forward, time will go so fast, and there won't be anything I can do about it, so I'm wondering, what can I do to soak everything in?

I have to admit, the first trimester of pregnancy for me, was not pleasant.  Don't get me wrong, I was incredibly joyful that we've been blessed with this pregnancy, but I literally felt terrible, every day.  I never quite understood the fatigue I heard about, and only imagined what the nausea would be like, but I got hit with both so hard that I quickly began to make plans in my head to have only one child, because I couldn't imagine voluntarily going through that again.

Now that I'm 'out of the woods' in terms of first trimester symptoms, I want to take advantage of this magical time that is said to be the middle third of pregnancy.  But how do I go about doing that?  I'm trying to be conscious and aware of everything- thankful that I'm eating normal foods again (instead of only white-colored things), I'm thankful that I'm finally working out again, because the thought of working out now makes me feel happy, instead of seeming unfathomable.  I'm glad that I no longer need a late morning (and mid-afternoon) nap, and that I'm (a little) less worried and paranoid that this baby could slip away at any moment.

I was at a bookstore today and saw a pregnancy journal, and immediately felt regret that I hadn't made a habit to write down all of my thoughts & feelings throughout my first trimester.  Now it's gone, definitely still strong in my memory, but we all know those details can fade quickly.  Instead I spent my first trimester wishing it would come to an end so I could begin to feel like a person again.  I did sit down to write once, almost 2 months ago now, but it felt so personal that I didn't want to post it.  I suppose the best I can do is start now.  Start documenting more, writing more, and allowing myself to let go of (some of) the worry, so I can soak in the joy and excitement of this life-changing time.

Ode to SF

At this very moment, we're up to our eyeballs in boxes and shrink wrap, but I wanted to share a little photo tribute to this great city we've been proud to call home for the last 21 months.

Aside from some of our favorite people who happen to live here, these are just a few more things to love about the City by the Bay.... 

The Bush Man scaring an innocent family.  It never gets old!

Cones of cured meats

Total randomness

Walks that look like this....

Homes that look like this:

And view...

after view...

after view.

We love you San Francisco! Thanks for being so good to us.  We'll see you again very soon!

We love you San Francisco

Every once in a while (every once in a long while), I feel like I need to write.  If I had a journal, or a diary, I'd probably be writing in that, but for now this blog will have to do.  This is a selfish post really, because I think it's just cathartic for me if nothing else.

It's pretty unreal when I recall writing a post about leaving Claremont and being new to San Francisco, and all of the exciting (and challenging) things we were experiencing during that change.  It seems like it was yesterday, yet also seems like ages ago at the same time.  We are about to embark on yet another big change, moving back to Seattle.

I know I speak for both Mass and myself when I say that we've had very mixed feelings about this move.  When I think long and hard, and am honest with myself about where my heart and my gut lead me, it's Seattle.  I'm ready to be an arms-length away from our parents, and a short jaunt to our closest and dearest friends.  I'm ready to be around for the birthday parties, BBQ's, and random weekend dinners.  I'm ready to not only watch our friends' kids grow up on Instagram, but witness it with my own eyes.  I'm ready to admit that my priorities are changing, and though we've had a blast here, I'm ready to admit that Seattle will always be home.

What am I not ready for?  
The weather, for starters.  Shocking, I know.  I complained about the Seattle rain so much that I annoyed even myself.  Claremont weather was a dream- and no, I never got tired of 85 degrees.  San Francisco has brought us much more variety- fog, wind, an occasional drizzle, but mostly sunshine, which we've become accustomed to, and I hope we haven't taken for granted.  

What else am I not ready for?  I'm not ready to leave this amazing incredible view and our super cool apartment.  This ever-changing but always awesome view, greets us every morning and bids us sweet dreams every night.  There's always a cool new sailboat or cruise ship to look at, or a giant barge making its trek past our window.  I can tell how windy it is outside by looking at the white caps on the water.  I can tell how foggy it is when I'm awoken by the sound of fog horns in the morning, and I can tell what time it is just by looking out the window at the clock tower.  The sunsets are beautiful too, but I'd have to say that watching the sun come up in the morning from our bedroom window has been something truly wonderful. 

I'm not ready to leave the few, but very special friends we have in this city.  It's a small handful, but they are so dear to us and will be missed.  However, I know we'll be back to visit.  I just think about how many times we flew to Seattle while living away.  

I'll miss Polk Street.  This little stretch of several city blocks has become our 'hood'.  Although there's always annoying construction somewhere, and you have to watch where you're walking to avoid stepping in puke or dog poop, I finally feel like I know a part of this city like the back of my hand.  It's a tiny part of the city, but it's our part.

I'll miss the restaurant scene.  And wine country.  Although I have to say, this one is mixed for me.  It's a love-hate relationship.  I hate how much I love the plethora of good eating and drinking the bay area has to offer.  And yes, Seattle has its fair share of great food & drink as well.

What it really comes down to, is that our hearts are being pulled in more than one direction, and I'm coming to grips with the fact that maybe that's okay.  Maybe it's okay that we have mixed feelings about it, and we don't have to be 100% 'stoked' to be making this move.  For some reason I feel guilty about not acting more excited, but I do know, deep in my gut, that it's the right move (I think).  ;)

A couple months of catch-up

Some random photos/highlights from the last 2 months....

A visit from Val & John and a trip to Carmel for the weekend

A day at the Monterey aquarium

A beautiful drive along point Lobos

Trivia Night! Can you guess who won??

We did!

Still soaking up the beauty of this city

Game night with the Reynolds', and a 'play date' for Mahoney and Stan

Barrel tasting in Sonoma with friends

A weekend in Portland!  Somehow we ended up in Ducks gear again...

Bad photo, but a fabulous dinner at Ox

Deschutes Brewery

Baby Harlow!  She was very unsure of Mass and his scratchy face....I just love her expression!

2012....

....ended on a very high note!  We spent a really nice week in Seattle for Christmas.  It was so much fun hosting a great group of friends for a holiday dinner, cheering on the Seahawks as they beat the 49ers, and just having a bit more time to spend with family and our dear friends.

We came back to SF for 36 hours (just enough time to unpack, do laundry, and re-pack), then spent an amazing week in St. Lucia for New Years.  Our time in St. Lucia was filled with laying around reading, enjoying the sun on our skin, admiring the gorgeous views and lush landscape, drinking delicious island rum, eating some great (and not-so-great) food, and loving our quality time with Peter & Rose.  

Some other highlights of the trip:

• The boys went scuba diving and saw some cool fish
• Visiting a sulphur volcano (stinky!),
• and a waterfall (of sorts), 
• Playing our new favorite charades game, "Shappy Chapeaux"
• Walking through the town of Soufriere, following a man who took us to the local fisherman where we bought a whole tuna, then watched him butcher it for us with a giant machete.
• Our lunch at Jade Mountain
• The crazy narrow, unpaved winding roads, that always seemed to be at the edge of a cliff (thanks to Peter for driving the whole time- being that St. Lucians drive on the opposite side of the road)
• A luxurious visit to get massages at the Rainforest Spa (the spa was set up to look like a village of tree houses)
• The soft sand, the beautiful blue water, the impressive Pitons, and the breathtaking sunsets.
• Spending a whole week with Peter and Rose, who we don't get to see often enough, but love to pieces.

This was the view of the Pitons from the house we stayed in.  The house was amazing.  Two floors, both wide open to this view.  I never once missed not having a TV.  :)  Not for a second. 

The living room

The polished hardwood floors were gorgeous, and virtually the entire house had these floors.  The hammock was quite nice as well, and on the left side of the photo is the pool area.

The pics above and below are from Anse Chastanet, which was the beach closest to us.  It was about a 10-minute walk or 2-minute drive from our house.

Sugar Beach  

Jade Mountain

The coolest infinity pool at Jade Mountain

The sulphur volcano

Our home for the week- Villa La Bagatelle