Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Should I be doing more?

Where does the time go?  Now that I'm 16 weeks pregnant, I'm finally starting to get the feeling that from this point forward, time will go so fast, and there won't be anything I can do about it, so I'm wondering, what can I do to soak everything in?

I have to admit, the first trimester of pregnancy for me, was not pleasant.  Don't get me wrong, I was incredibly joyful that we've been blessed with this pregnancy, but I literally felt terrible, every day.  I never quite understood the fatigue I heard about, and only imagined what the nausea would be like, but I got hit with both so hard that I quickly began to make plans in my head to have only one child, because I couldn't imagine voluntarily going through that again.

Now that I'm 'out of the woods' in terms of first trimester symptoms, I want to take advantage of this magical time that is said to be the middle third of pregnancy.  But how do I go about doing that?  I'm trying to be conscious and aware of everything- thankful that I'm eating normal foods again (instead of only white-colored things), I'm thankful that I'm finally working out again, because the thought of working out now makes me feel happy, instead of seeming unfathomable.  I'm glad that I no longer need a late morning (and mid-afternoon) nap, and that I'm (a little) less worried and paranoid that this baby could slip away at any moment.

I was at a bookstore today and saw a pregnancy journal, and immediately felt regret that I hadn't made a habit to write down all of my thoughts & feelings throughout my first trimester.  Now it's gone, definitely still strong in my memory, but we all know those details can fade quickly.  Instead I spent my first trimester wishing it would come to an end so I could begin to feel like a person again.  I did sit down to write once, almost 2 months ago now, but it felt so personal that I didn't want to post it.  I suppose the best I can do is start now.  Start documenting more, writing more, and allowing myself to let go of (some of) the worry, so I can soak in the joy and excitement of this life-changing time.