We love you San Francisco

Every once in a while (every once in a long while), I feel like I need to write.  If I had a journal, or a diary, I'd probably be writing in that, but for now this blog will have to do.  This is a selfish post really, because I think it's just cathartic for me if nothing else.

It's pretty unreal when I recall writing a post about leaving Claremont and being new to San Francisco, and all of the exciting (and challenging) things we were experiencing during that change.  It seems like it was yesterday, yet also seems like ages ago at the same time.  We are about to embark on yet another big change, moving back to Seattle.

I know I speak for both Mass and myself when I say that we've had very mixed feelings about this move.  When I think long and hard, and am honest with myself about where my heart and my gut lead me, it's Seattle.  I'm ready to be an arms-length away from our parents, and a short jaunt to our closest and dearest friends.  I'm ready to be around for the birthday parties, BBQ's, and random weekend dinners.  I'm ready to not only watch our friends' kids grow up on Instagram, but witness it with my own eyes.  I'm ready to admit that my priorities are changing, and though we've had a blast here, I'm ready to admit that Seattle will always be home.

What am I not ready for?  
The weather, for starters.  Shocking, I know.  I complained about the Seattle rain so much that I annoyed even myself.  Claremont weather was a dream- and no, I never got tired of 85 degrees.  San Francisco has brought us much more variety- fog, wind, an occasional drizzle, but mostly sunshine, which we've become accustomed to, and I hope we haven't taken for granted.  

What else am I not ready for?  I'm not ready to leave this amazing incredible view and our super cool apartment.  This ever-changing but always awesome view, greets us every morning and bids us sweet dreams every night.  There's always a cool new sailboat or cruise ship to look at, or a giant barge making its trek past our window.  I can tell how windy it is outside by looking at the white caps on the water.  I can tell how foggy it is when I'm awoken by the sound of fog horns in the morning, and I can tell what time it is just by looking out the window at the clock tower.  The sunsets are beautiful too, but I'd have to say that watching the sun come up in the morning from our bedroom window has been something truly wonderful. 

I'm not ready to leave the few, but very special friends we have in this city.  It's a small handful, but they are so dear to us and will be missed.  However, I know we'll be back to visit.  I just think about how many times we flew to Seattle while living away.  

I'll miss Polk Street.  This little stretch of several city blocks has become our 'hood'.  Although there's always annoying construction somewhere, and you have to watch where you're walking to avoid stepping in puke or dog poop, I finally feel like I know a part of this city like the back of my hand.  It's a tiny part of the city, but it's our part.

I'll miss the restaurant scene.  And wine country.  Although I have to say, this one is mixed for me.  It's a love-hate relationship.  I hate how much I love the plethora of good eating and drinking the bay area has to offer.  And yes, Seattle has its fair share of great food & drink as well.

What it really comes down to, is that our hearts are being pulled in more than one direction, and I'm coming to grips with the fact that maybe that's okay.  Maybe it's okay that we have mixed feelings about it, and we don't have to be 100% 'stoked' to be making this move.  For some reason I feel guilty about not acting more excited, but I do know, deep in my gut, that it's the right move (I think).  ;)